Unpredictable
by RadioEyes
Summary: You were suffocating, because you were on fire and your veins burned and burned and you finally felt alive because of him; even though he'd broken you. M for swearing.


**Disclaimer: I own no characters or likeness to the Queen Herself -J.K. Rowling. Only the story idea is mine.**

Summary: You were suffocating, because you were on fire and your veins burned and burned and you finally felt alive because of him; even though he'd broken you.

M for swearing.

There wasn't much you could do at this point.

The intensity in which he used to fix his stare at you was _intimidating_. You were frozen; gobsmacked and staring because his jaw was gritting together and his fists are clenched pure white.

He was _angry_.

You had completely misinterpreted that he would react this way. The only information spoken between the two of you, moments before, was that you had accepted a Hogsmeade invitation for the upcoming weekend with **_Amos Diggory_** **.**

But seeing as how you were both now friends - a truce of sorts - you had felt that you could treat him as such and actually talk to him about things. But he had you backed _angrily_ into a wall while arguing about whether Diggory was a decent guy and now you're staring and staring and staring. Barely breathing; you can't say a word. You can't utter a sighing breath. Because he's so _angry_ and you don't want to set him off and you don't know what to do.

Yet your silence antagonizes him. He grips your arm _hard_ and you see his fist fly towards you and you sharply inhale as it whizzes past you, the force of it disturbing your hair, and you feel the stone wall behind you vibrate heavily, with an audible crack. Your eyes are wide with shock but you still can't _move_. His fist unclenches and his palm is flat against the wall as the blood pools on his bruised knuckles. He snaps his eyes shut, taking a deep breath and rests his forehead on your shoulder burrowing in the crook of your neck, his hand leaves your arm and gently rests against the opposite side on your collar bone.

You're _terrified_ to touch him. To make movement. You can't even _breathe_ normally.

He lifts his head and is so near to your face, _staring_ at you. You watch as a plethora of emotions fleetingly dance across his face like a terribly beautiful duet. Pain, anger, jealousy, longing, lust, _regret -_ screwing back into _anger_. He reads pure terror in your eyes, mixed with sadness. His hand slowly slides off your collar bone as he backs slowly away from you. His face turns distant and you choke back a sob - it's as if you can _physically_ see his walls go up, locking you out of his fortress. A fortress where you're sure he is king of his misery.

Your heart cracks, and you get a jolt of bravery - to hell with whatever oncoming pain you may feel because of it! So ever so slowly, you reach out to him and softly call his name. He stops and his back stiffens momentarily, but he continues to walk away from you.

Your pulse races - he tells you to leave him alone, it's what he wants.  
"If you truly care - never come near me again" and you choke back a sob as he slams his bedroom door.

 _You had finally broken him.._

Whenever he would enter the same room, his back would stiffen, causing you to leave. You did exactly as he wanted. You left him alone, making sure to sever the string that had ever held you two together. Because you _cared_ more than you had ever wished for.

But a month after the "Incident" (well after you had tore it off with Diggory - you never did go on that date) that he walked into the common room. You had moved back to the Girls Dormitory instead of the Heads Dormitory the night of the "Incident", because it _hurt too fucking much_.

You watch him out of the corner of your eye as he sits in a chair by the fire. So staying true to your word, you gather your things from the table you're working at nearby and make your way to the Girls Dormitory where Alice and Marlene would grill you about how you've become so unlike yourself.

"You don't have to leave, _Evans_ ". You stop. His ton was clipped and short, still filled with anger, and his walls remained unbearably high. But you stopped. It was the first time he had spoken to you since that fateful night. You wanted to turn and look at his face - say something to him. But you _cared too much_ and you made an unspoken _promise_ to abide by. So you continue for the stairs until you heard your name _alarmingly_ close.

"Evans", he still used that same tone. As if his words dripped with hate, forming a puddle at your feet, attempting to pull you down and drown you. And the fleeting thought of it being a good idea flitters through you mind.

His hand brushed your shoulder and you washed every emotion off of your face. Because there were no walls to protect you anymore...he had made sure of that long ago when he savagely tore them down. But he whirled you around, expecting anger or pain. But your eyes were once a vibrant green and now were a dull cloudy night. You kept a dead stare straight past him- no.. _through_ him. He stepped back, shocked at the realization of his discovery and concern flickered across his face before returning to his stony look.

"Evans, you can stay in the common room." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and slight.. worry? "Evans!" you didn't- wouldn't - give him the benefit of eye contact or signs of _life_. So you sidestep him and quickly make your way to the seventh year Girls Dormitories, shutting the door with a slight click. Leaning against it to take shaky breaths.

 _Your adhesive had worn on your heart_ and it was _suffocating_. Because you _cared_ , you had to stay away.

A week later, and he corners you by yourself in the library by sitting down _directly across from you_. You swiftly grab your materials and magic the book you were using back to it's shelf while sliding out of your seat before he can even register that you had stopped writing. He grabs your wrist and breaths your name, blinking and dumbfounded. But your eyes only go to his hand on your wrist, _staring and staring and.._ He quickly let's go, possibly fearing that you'll hex him. You continue to leave the library now that you're free and you _care so fucking much_. As you make your way to Gryffindor Tower, you're unable to emit a sob or produce any tears. You can only feel _nothing_.

Your head shakes as you think back to the "Incident". You had only caused _him_ to snap that time. But him... _he had broken you_.

And there are quick footsteps behind you and before you can register, you're in an empty classroom backed against the wall and he's angry again- no - **_menacing_**.

"Damn it, Evans! Will you _look_ at me!?" But you stare through him with your hollow eyes because all you can do is feel _nothing_. He grabs your face and forces you to look towards him, but you don't. You can't. You're not training your eyes on him. He kisses you and you feel like you're suffocating because it feels like _fire fire fire_.

And your veins burn and burn and _burn_ like an incinerator and you **_still can't breathe._**

You pull away for air and he does too and your eyes search his face - the face you haven't looked at since that night - and he's _tired_ and _relieved_ that your eyes no longer look ghostly, even though they now look **_haunted_**. An overwhelming feeling of pain, longing and sadness engulfs you because you **_missed_** those deep hazel orbs- yet you still can't _say anything._ You promised that if you cared... but you feel so **_alive_** and to _hell_ with not looking at him! So you train your eyes on him and he seems a bit relieved but hastily tries to convince you of his side.

"I'm sorry for how I reacted to Diggory. _Merlin_ , I am sorry. I was upset because that ponce kept making crude comments about you towards me, laughing that he bet he could bed the "Mudblood" while we were only just becoming _friends_ after sick _long_ fucking years. When you told me you had agreed to him, I _lost_ it. But I also lost you - **_entirely_**. But dammit, Lily! I love you too much to walk away from you and I _don't_ want you to walk away from me and I _don't want_ you to leave me alone. I don't like seeing you like this! I've taken my walls down so take off your damn mask and _wake up_!" He looks at your frustrated and serious.

You breathe in suddenly, feeling way too much all at once and your senses are all on _fire_ as he's still touching you and he had _kissed_ you. He's waiting for you to say something- _anything_.

He sighs, shoulders slumped, and turns to leave and you are _alive_ and panicked and you **_have_** to **_stop_** him so you grab his hand and breathe his name and he's frozen as if the way you whispered his name was a leg log jinx but it's not, you know it's not, you're _sure_ it's not.

"You really hurt me" you confess quietly. But he turns and his arms slide around your waist and pulls you to him whispering that he knows... _he knows.._ And he's never felt so incredibly _sorry_. You wrap your arms around his neck, planting one on his jaw, caressing his cheek and in total awe of the feel of his stubble and he's whispering in your hair that he's _sorry_ and that he _loves_ you. You lightly kiss his neck- your way of telling him that it's okay- you forgive him. But he shakes his head and you pull back to look at him.

"I didn't know you cared _that much_ about me to stay away like that, Lils"

You nod once and look away - you're not able to look at him. "I'll spend the rest of my life to make this up to you" he declares kissing your forehead but you shake your head - your hair the equivalent of a fire; spitting and dancing in unison like drunken sailors searching for their hearts desires. But it's not objecting him because your face feels slightly cracked and the muscle movements feel odd but you're _smiling smiling smiling._

Elation lights up his face like fireflies in mid July and the sound that escapes your lips seems so very strange but _alive_ as you laugh softly at how animated he had become by a simple expression.

But you're _alive_ and you can _feel_ things again and you no longer have to avoid a _fortress of misery_ because you have pillaged the castle, and found the one who can burn passion through you with the strike of a match.

"So..."

"So..."

"Will you move back in the heads dorm?"

 **FIN**

 **A/N:  
** The author just wants to point out that she greatly appreciates reviews!


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